How seldom or frequently do you express your love to you partner or family?
You may think that whatever you do for your family and/or partner like earn money for them, give them a better lifestyle, care for them, protect them, try to understand their needs before they say it and fulfill it, plan a vacation for them, stay together with them, spend time with them, go to the hospital with them for their treatment if they are ill are all clear expression of your love for them. It seems more like fulfilling your responsibility rather than an expression of love.
You may think expressing your love to someone in words is awkward, or what is there to say as they might already know, why do you need to reiterate it every now and then as it won’t change love and affection you have for them.
Love always have a need to be expressed, it is not something you can expect from your loved one’s to understand through your actions or assume that they might already know. If you love someone wholeheartedly, you never fail to express it to them in every possible occasion you get, this way you make them realize and appreciate that you have them in their heart and still hold that importance in their life. They are the one you have in their heart that they cherish and you don’t shy away from admitting it to the world. This confession of love every now and then is a glue that holds the essence of your relationship and never lets it break or fade away.
I believe if you think you love someone maybe for years but you do anything less than making them feel special by expressing it frequently you tend to make them feel you no longer love them or cherish them the way you did before or they are just becoming a burden or responsibility to you, you start to drift apart and if this continues and if you do not act promptly you might realize that you are not able to fill in the rift that has formed in your relationship.
Isn’t this the main reason why most of the relationships that we think as our ideal that would last forever doesn’t even last till lifetime, this is because the relationship loses the essence of expression of love in it as both the party involved finds it awkward and unnecessary after staying together for decades if not years…
Appreciate and cherish the people that you love in your life and never put them in a tight spot in your relationship where they feel unwanted, unappreciated and lonely even though they have you.
I’ve learnt wonderful lessons while facing way to many ups and downs in life in last few years like-
You only tend to see what you want to see in the given situation. People can guide you, advice you as much as their heart desires but YOU are the one who you listen to so beware of what you think and convince yourself…
For everything you’ve lost, you have gained something. With every bad experiences you get lessons for life and with every good experience you create beautiful memories for life.
Love yourself no matter what others think of you, you were not born just to get approval from people telling you how to live and feel who themselves are never happy and satisfied in life. This is you own life and choices you make that makes you what you are, don’t let anyone’s judgement influence your happiness. When I look back I realize how much time I’ve wasted trying to become a person that fits in the frame of perfect girl who I was not happy being. Doing what you love to do and caring more about your thoughts and choice rather unnecessary validations from people around is liberating, it makes you believe that if you love yourself you won’t let yourself suffer because of others because it’s not worth losing your mind or yourself for…
Situation that break/shatter you completely making you believe nothing and doubt every believe that you have is what remoulds you into a strong and better person. This process of making and breaking is rule of the universe that can be seen everywhere, everyone…there is no exception to that. It’s your choice if you want to be shattered for life or build yourself again again with perseverance. Trust me when I say, this takes every ounce of efforts from your end to make up your mind and face all the situations heads on…
It’s true when people say that every situation that comes up in life is a phase that has to pass, nothing is constant neither pain, suffering nor happiness and peace. But it is up to you how you mould yourself for these situations and face it or just hide or avoid it. Well, former choice is the unsaid choice that you have to make eventually because you do realize once you grow up the you can’t always run or hide, you ought to settle and face what comes for you…its kind of the compulsory question that you have in an exam that is difficult but requires you to attempt to pass through…
I like pouring my thoughts into my blogs like this because I believe many people out there might find it difficult to handle themselves in weird situations life put you through and would like to know that they are not alone facing this. Sometimes its just enough to know that there are people around who are in difficult situations but choose to fight and face it. I do appreciate how similar the points that I mention here are to theirs through their comments on my blogs. Thanks you all for the love and support…
What makes you believe someone who you think loves you actually does? Let’s frame it this way like what is your definition of love, if you are able to define what love means to you use that frame on people around you and the ones that fit in your love frame is whom you love. But how can you make a same Frame for others and guaze if you actually fit into their love frame…
Where there is affection there is love
Where there is genuine care and concern there is love
Where there is hope there is love
Where there is pain there is love
Where there is heartbreak there used to be love
Where there is a crush it might manifest into love
Where there is believe there is love
It’s difficult to understand if you can fit into the love frame of the person who fits in your frame but you do have a person for you who understands you in and out, who has been a witness to all your struggles, successes, failures, who guides your conscience to do what is right for you, you might not be present in front of you directly but you constantly talk to them and ask for their validation before making up your mind. You guessed it…its YOU.
You have validation for person whom you like and love but do you even consider yourself before them. You do fit in you love frame perfectly but you tend to believe you’ll find it outside which often leads to expectations and eventually disappointment. Why put yourself through so much? You are responsible for your own happiness and you are the one who is supposed to put efforts to achieve that. You can’t completely make your happiness others business and never goes as you think and you end up losing yourself in the process which is all you’ll always have no matter what you do. Don’t underestimate how lovely and beautiful you are inside out and you don’t people to love you to live but rather you need to put yourself first and care for your feelings.
I used to think of how if past could have been a little easy on me than it always had been how wonderful it would have been, how beautiful life would have been.
But I realized lessons in life that are learnt the harder ways cannot be forgotten so even if I think if I can go back in time and change those situations somehow I don’t thing I’d be a strong person as I am today so I do appreciate how far I’ve come and how strong I’ve made myself.
It’s more easy said than actually done but at the end of the day I believe we are responsible for our own happiness and the day you forget this and look out for a person to depend on to make you happy you tend to give up on this responsibility that you have towards yourself and so begins a series of unhappiness and disappointments. How can you look for something that you have deep within you outside! You never get it if you look for it in the wrong path.
There are millions of people and situations out that will make you unhappy if you give them a chance to do so but you need to find some way how you can make yourself happy and this won’t happen if you dwell in the past and waste your present thinking how things in past could have been better.
Always remind yourself when you wake up in the morning everyday that what lies ahead is much greater than what you have left behind , this might not make your situation any easier but it will definitely change your approach to these situations and to your life.
“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, not the most intelligent that survives. It’s the one that is the most adaptable to change.” – Charles Darwin
Survival of the fittest. The phrase is best understood as, survival of the form that will leave the most copies of itself in successive generations. While physical fitness is an attribute of ‘fitness’, it is just one of many. You must learn to adapt to change in order to not only become successful in your life, but to survive.
Nothing good can come to you if refrain yourself from changing with the pace of the world. Ofcourse it’s difficult to motivate yourself, come out of your cozy comfort zone to pace up everytime with the Change but that’s what keeps you on your toes and helps you achieve better things in life that you want for yourself.
I think I learnt this lesson in a hard way in life through my past experiences but learning it hard way is what made it memorable and worth it. And if I would get a chance to go back in past I would not like to change any of it as I know what I was going through at that time and how I came out of it, changed myself completely in an attempt to become a better version of myself…
Let me make my own series of mistakes to learn and grow through it… Life doesn’t come with a guide or manual so how can someone force you to believe what they say through their experience is right for me as well. We all have different ideas and prospective in life and just because I don’t agree with someone on a point doesn’t make me look stupid or rebel. Ofcourse I have my own thoughts that I have developed over years of my existence through my good and bad experiences that have shaped my personality the way it is today. It’s my choice to make to take or leave people’s suggestions based or their experience or make my own mistakes and learn from it, who knows if I don’t make a mistake instead find a better way out of it and teach these people this prospect that I have on it! In today’s world no elder can impose their thoughts on their children or grandchildren but only suggest a way which they find better through their own past experiences. If you try to impose your thoughts on them surely you’ll drift yourself away from their heart as you seem to be controlling to them and surely nobody likes to be controlled against their will, isn’t it… Instead you can just share your experiences with them rather than making them believe and do what you want and maybe you giving them your experience will help them make better choices and love and respect you more dearly since they can see that you actually respect their thought as an individual and not always treat them as a kid when they are already grown up adults… It’s a privilege to have a choice to make and learn from your mistakes and nobody can teach you better than your own personal experiences so never refrain to make a choice to choose a path and face whatever difficulties that may come your way because this process is what will take you long way and again practically speaking you can’t expect somebody to always be there to hold your hands and guide you throughout your life…
It was kind of early morning when we had planned to go to jatashankar after all the previous day exciting trek that we had to the Chauragarh Peak which is around 1.5km from Pachmarhi bus station. Jatashankar or Jata Shankar is a cave temple located in Pachmarhi, Madhya Pradesh. Also called Jatashankar Cave Temple, it is one of the popular places to visit in Pachmarhi.
Situated in a deep ravine with enormous boulders perched above, the Jata Shankar Caves in Pachmarhi are considered sacred as it is believed to be the place where Lord Shiva concealed himself from the wrath of Bhasmasur. This is a beautiful limestone cave comprising stalactites and stalagmites that look like the matted hair of Lord Shiva, hence named Jata Shankar Cave. Besides, the ceiling of this famous shrine has a formation that closely resembles the mythological hundred-headed snake Seshnag.
The cave contains stalagmites which are revered as naturally formed lingams. In fact, there are 108 such natural lingams present in this cave. There are two different types of ponds fed by springs, found in the locality, one of cold water and the other one of hot water. Water in the cave flows from an unknown point as no one has ever seen or reached that starting point and hence this stream of water is popularly known as ‘Gupt Ganga’. It is believed that the Jambu Dwip stream originates from this cave. There are idols of Lord Shankar and Goddess Parvati enshrined at a platform on the upper section of the cave.
Tourists need to walk about 1km and then climb down 150 steps leading to the cave temple. Also this walk to reach the cave is full surrounding view of beautifully cut mountains that are created naturally over the centuries because of the water and the weather changes. Besides, one can buy the local ayurvedic oils and shilajit that are being sold by vendors all along the route.
Since the Covid restrictions in Maharashtra was relaxed a bit, we 4 families together planned to take up a trip together to some place where we are safe from Covid and will get a change from the regular work from home routine. I did my little research and suggested to go to Pachmarhi which everyone agreed without a blink and that’s where it all began. We 4 families with 13 members went to Pachmarhi in second week of August which is not much preferred season to visit this hill station amidst the Satpura range in the state of madhya Pradesh. But still if you think is there any particular season that is not good to visit a hillstation…I cannot believe if there is any and we never thought this place would be so much special and beautiful than the way its mentioned in all the travel blogs that I have read on it till date. So I could not resist giving a standalone mention to one of Pachmarhi’s most daunting attractions – the Chauragarh Temple through this blog.
Located on top of the Chauragarh Peak,at an altitude of 1,330 m, the temple can be accessed after a 3.6 km ling trek. Just when you are thinking that the three-and-a-half odd kms is not really a big deal, let me just tell you that the last kilometer is basically 1,380 steps cut on the sheer rock face. So by this you can guess what we all had signed up for. We heard from people we know who had been there before about the difficulty level of the trek but these warning or stories I don’t know why gives you a solid reason to go ahead, explore and check it out for yourself if it’s really that hard to reach the Chauragarh Peak or its kind of an excuse of people who were not fit enough to reach the top. So we took this up as a challenge and all of us were ready and determined to reach the top and see for ourselves how the trek actually is. Another amazing thing I would like to mention here is that many of the members of our group were senior citizens and by God looking at them bubbling with energy determined to reach the Chauragarh Peak motivated us youngsters to not give up at all and ofcourse never to underestimate the stamina and strength of these senior citizens. Looking at them it really seemed like for them age is just a number and so it cannot define their boundaries.
You can take your car upto the Mahadeo Temple, 9 kms from Pachmarhi town. From there begins the trek to Chauragarh. For the first kilometre, you climb up and down a number of small hills till you come to the base of the main hill. See, the thing is, I daily walk around 4 km as exercise routine and I used to consider myself be a fit person as whenever given a chance to sit home and rest or go for an exhausting trek I’llalways choose the later one. We carried our own bags having the mask, sanitizer and cameras while we had asked our gypsy driver to help us carry the eatables and water for everyone since everyone of us were observing shravan somavaar ka upvas which is a kind of fast that we strictly follow to present our devotion to lord Shiva and again coincidentally Chauragarh Peak is said to be Shiva’s peak and people usually climb these four mountains and reach Chauragarh Peak to go visit the Shiva temple situated at the peak. So it was kind of amazing how the plan fell in to place such that we were able to visit the Shiva temple while we were observing the fast for lord Shiva itself. For people planning to go there, please carry your own water as there are no vendors on the way. A few tribals set up shop here and there selling gutkhas, cigarettes, chaas(buttermilk) and nimboo paani (these tribal people do stay in the valley that we can see while trekking. I am still amazed and appreciate how they climb and descend these mountains daily just to earn a livelihood).
Mid way of the trek is quite easy and not so steep and makes you believe easily that whatever mention that you’ve heard of this trek is breathtaking and difficult must be from people who are not so fit to even endure such a normal trek path but soon you’ll realize that you’ve said this all too soon…
This is when the track finally starts winding upwards. On one side of the road was an unrestricted view of the Satpura valley, most of which was covered in clouds and fog which definitely made it less scary while peeping in the valley by at the same time it was feeling as if we were there walking amidst the clouds…As you trudge on higher and higher, the scenenery begins to unfold under you. At this point of time, you begin to wonder if this view looks stunning, what would the view from top be like.
After two third of the climb was completed we came to a point where the steps had become narrow and steep making it more difficult to hold a grip and walk properly due to sudden rain and wind. As also due to the height it was becoming difficult to breath and to make it even more difficult during this COVID pandemic times we were trekking with the masks on as there were many country people crowd out there who were going to visit the chauragadh mahadev temple on the first shravan somavar of the year which is an auspicious day to worship Shiva according to Hindu mythology and coincidentally we choose the same day to go for this trek(well that was not a good idea since it made us keep the mask on and eventually made our breathing difficult as we were ascending towards the Chauragarh peak).
Due to the difficulty of the climb, not many people attempt the trek. Also since we went there on 9th August which is a peak monsoon time in India we were blessed to witness all the season in the trek duration of 4hrs as we were ascending the chauragadh peak. We were able to see a pleasant cloudy weather when we were at the base, then midway down the trek it started raining heavily which made us all drenched and the wind gushing through the ranges made us experience the winter chills and ofcourse it was followed by fog which made it difficult to see the base of the valley. As it stopped raining suddenly we could feel the warmth of the sun helping us get dried up but again due to the cloudy weather we were drenched in our own sweat( which is definitely gross but who would care about the sweat and the rain when you are enjoying the challenging trek and trying to climb 4 mountains to reach the peak of Chauragadh).
We were told that it’s quiet up there and we would only be able to hear birds chirping and panting of our own breath in the mountains as not many people visiting Pachmarhi choose to trek at this spot, taking into consideration the difficulty of the trek. But to our surprise and due to the day we choose the trek route was literally crowded with villagers and tribal people around Pachmarhi who worship Shiva and yes I could only find greedy red faced monkeys around who try to snatch your bags if you are not attentive while trekking and yes there I couldn’t hear or see any bird chirping around.
After what seemed like an endless climb, we finally reached a terrace kind of stairs which is at the neck of the hill, with one final flight of moderately high stairs (for a change) to the top. I ringing of bells were like music to our eyes making us realize that we are almost there amidst the panting and breathlessness.
The temple courtyard is stacked with thousands of trishuls, some weighing over three tons and standing nearly 5 m tall. On the occasion of Nagpanchmi and Mahashivaratri, devotees come here in droves, lugging up these heavy tridents or trishuls as offerings. These are then stuck in the ground around the temple creating a forest of trishuls. It is generally believed that the wishes of anyone who offers a trident here will be fulflled. It’s difficult by itself to motivate ourselves to complete the trek and I can’t even imagine how much dedication do these people put in to trust and believe that taking these heavy trishul up the Chauragadh peak on their feet will fulfill their wishes as blessings from lord Shiva as reward for their perseverance, dedication and worship.
There is a Shiva temple located near the tree where all the trishuls are placed as token of the people’s mannat for fulfillment of which they bring the trishul up to this peak as a token of their devotion.
It nearly took us around 2 hrs to descend back to the base where there is a cave having a Shiva linga which is kind of hidden in the cave so it is named as ‘Gupt mahadev’ (Gupt in Hindi means hidden and Mahadev is the title that has been bestowed to lord Shiva).
The overall trek took us around 5-6 hrs to complete which I think would have been even faster if it wasn’t raining so heavily at the top out there and if it had not been so crowded. It was indeed an exhaustive trek altogether but it was an amazing and overwhelming and memorable experience trekking those four mountains and reach the peak of Chauragarh… No matter how much our legs were paining due to this trek the next day given a chance to go climb this peak again for sure I’ll never hesitate to say YES… Also what I learnt while coming down that how important it is for you to keep yourself physically fit amidst the mental stress caused due to this pandemic and 24/7 kind of work from home culture.
PS: Please do let me know how you liked this blog so that it will help me to write about other wonderful place I had been to in Pachmarhi…
There are times when you come across people who do not think before speaking in not a good way and you have no way to make them understand how rude and insensitive they can be to others and make them hear themselves when they speak.
It specifically becomes difficult if you have an emotional and sensitive approach to thinking and action to stand these kind of people around you and its inexplicable how difficult life becomes everyday if you happen to work and connect with these kind of people everyday as part of your job.
You start feeling exhausted in the morning thinking how to escape from these people and how to avoid getting hurt talking to them. On the other hand these kind of insensitive people have no clue how impossible they are to deal with and how ruthlessly they behave with others keeping a stand that they are straightforward.
Well everybody knows if a person is being straightforward or being rude just to showcase their power trying hard to mask their insecurities and inferiority complex. People who avoid talking or use ignorance as a medicine to deal with these people are knowingly or unknowingly feed their ego making them believe they have a right to be rude to supress other people and pave their way…
First thing to do if you have a misfortune to work with these kind of people only tolerate what you feel you can ignore but once it starts mentally affecting you stand up for yourself and speak up. Its not your weakness to be sensitive, rather its a virtue that makes you compassionate and makes you kind enough to empathize with people around you and indeed makes you a good person. Also its not that only people who are rude or insensitive are straightforward. Its a matter of person choice if you respect and be kind to everybody around you or not.
If things go beyond your control and it becomes intolerable to deal with such people just SPEAK UP…Since your silence would make your life difficult and also you would be forcing yourself into a toxic environment which might affect you physically and mentally as well. If you need to work with them everyday just make them realize how wrong they are thinking that you silence was because you were easy target to bully and it was testing your tolerance…You are responsible for your mental well-being so don’t let anybody invade and ruin your peace of mind because of their toxic and supressing attitude…
You need to be smart enough to not go down to their level to make them taste their own medicine but make them realize how wrongly they treat you with your goodness and kindness…
Don’t give people chance to make you live in a toxic environment amongst toxic people, you deserve better and you need to know that you really do.